Today I saw something I did not expect to see. I saw, from the second story of the classroom window, a middle school girl with handcuffs escorted to the back of a police car. Of course, this was the talk of the classroom, but only a mere three minutes. This surprised me.
I grew up in the very small town of Douglass, Kansas. It was the kind of town that you could walk around at night and have the confidence that you were not on the verge of being mugged. My class was a bit larger than usual- a grand total of 75 students on commencement day. You've heard the saying, "It was the kind of town where everybody knew everybody." Well that was not the case for me, I didn't care to know everybody at that school. A school full of cliques and people who thought they owned the world just because they were, at the current location, big fishes in a small pond. I know I sound pessimistic about my high school, and there were some great people at my school, but I don't like the small town attitude. Sorry about the negativity.
Anyway, I think growing up in a small town made me a bit ignorant to the fact that kids can be violent even at a young age. Kids can be disrespectful to teachers in ways that were unheard of in a small town school. (Some students were disrespectful to teachers, but only to a certain degree). I had the unfortunate experience of the defiant trouble maker of the class call me a b---- for trying to dissuade him from messing up the teacher's wall calender. I was quite shocked because my tone was not mean at all, and I had always been nice to him. I didn't know how to respond. I felt hurt. I discussed this incident with my CT. She was quite displeased in his behavior and told me that he would receive a write up. I asked if students here had ever called her anything like that. She said a few students had at the beginning of her career there. "They just need to get to know you better," she said. Since that day, he has been a lot more respectful towards me, which is good news. Hopefully he will stay that way?
Seeing the middle school girl in handcuffs today made me realize that I wasn't in a small town anymore. Many kids here see violence frequently. Hence the mere three minutes or less of hub bub. They are also more at risk for involvement with drugs and gangs. Its an entirely different world in an urban school.
Yet, unlike a small town school, I have found that urban schools have students that seem to be more accepting of one another (from the perspective of my limited experience). There seem to be less cliques and more diversity. There is a feeling of openness of the students toward each other.
My questions for my fellow bloggers are:
If you went to an urban high school, is my analysis totally off?
What was your experience with a small town school if you went to one?
What are some good ways to deal with student disrespect like my experience above?
Miranda I am sorry that you got called the "b" word. It happens. The student probably did it to shock you more than anything. It still has to be addressed. If there are other students around, and you don't want an escalation I would ignore it and address the student in a private moment. I would just say that I didn't appreciate the insult and move on. If I was the classroom teacher and a student did that to a pre-student teacher, para or sub I would write them up as your teacher did. I would make time to explain to them why. That they are guests or assistants here for their benefit and deserve courtesy.
ReplyDeleteAs for the small town vs urban school experience. I started grade schools in Wichita, in a minority neighborhood. I ended up in Dodge City, KS where my graduating class was nearly 200. Take into consideration, there is only one high school in Dodge. So there was a lot of people you had known forever and some you had little contact with. We had plenty of fights, smoking, teen pregnancy, fender benders and initiations. We had students carted off in cuffs. It was the talk of the day though.
Even worse. We had serious cliques and groups. I was lucky and had friends in groups all over the school. From jocks & cheers to chess club and stoners to Student Council. It was possible to live with the cliques because there was so many other ways to belong. The only power cliques have is exclusivity. If you don't want to belong there, they have no power over you. It is hard to have that enlightenment under 30 though, isn't it?
I don't think I saw this "openness of students towards one another" but I agree that diverse schools have, in my experience, more accepting personalities. It is probably a survival trait, but it sure makes school more comfortable.
Cross your fingers and hope that you get an open and accepting classroom. There are out there and I hope you find one. One where the "b" word isn't present.